August 1, 2011

Monday - Feeling Hungry

I've been feeling hungry these last few days as I've been sticking to my points plus daily goal.  I've been trying to fill myself with fruit and water but I am craving other foods.  It's been hard this week.  I think it's from all the stress this week.  Little Bit isn't doing well; he's not using any words to communicate and instead just screams and screams.  It's getting hard to deal with his tantrums every day.  For the first time today I felt like a mom of a special needs child.  I've seen children with severe cases of autism and downs syndrome and thought how lucky we were that LB's issues are fairly minor.  At times I've felt like I was cheating in having him in therapy.  I know the doctors don't haphazardly label a child with a disability and put him in the exceptional family member program, but it felt like a mistake until recently.  The stress of him not being able to communicate with us is really draining me.  It's like having a 30lb newborn who knows they need something but have no way of telling you what.  He just screams and we have to try everything until we find the right answer.  It wouldn't be so bad if he gave some sort of warning like when a toddler gets sleepy and you know a tantrum is coming, but there is nothing.  He'll be playing happily one second then BAM he's screaming bloody murder the next.

So this week I've been craving comfort food.  Today I did well and have enough points to order a pizza.  I plan on "treating" myself but I'll also stay in my points so that's good I think.  A lot of my fellow weight watcher members don't track their food 100% of the time and lose weight by focusing on exercise instead.  I am the opposite but I really think I need to focus less on food and more on movement.  This week I have done well in keeping at my daily goal so I think next week I might experiment and not track my food.  Instead I will focus on eating the foods I normally eat in a healthy portion sizes and exercise every single day.  Who knows, it might be the thing I need to keep this weight loss going.

Goals for Next Week:

  • Lower stress levels by: 
    • doing nightly calming yoga
    • using the massage chair
    • and nights out both alone and with the hubby
    • find a babysitter!
  • Focus on healthy portion sizes
    • not how many ounces per food I'm eating
  • Work out in some way every single day!

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