March 18, 2012

Sunday - Starting All Over

My hormones are equaling out and the miscarriage is completely over.  It was a scary ordeal this time.  I ended up going to the ER on a whim and the Dr informed me had I stayed home I would have bled out and died.  DH was 8 hours away at training and no one would have come to the house to check on me until he came home three days later.  By the time anyone heard my son crying in his crib I would have been long gone.  I really feel like God forced me to dial 911.  I felt fine and kinda felt silly for calling, but it turns out my body would have just kept slowly bleeding had the Dr not intervened.  So, needless to say, I am grateful to still be here and grateful for the still small voice that said "call anyways...just to be safe."  That is the good news...

The bad news is that I now weigh more than I did when I started Weight Watchers before.  I'm a bit bummed about that, but I was pregnant and it was a very stressful month and half waiting on my body to complete the miscarriage.  Life happens and all I can do is keep trucking on.  Weight Watchers' way of weight loss is not a fad, it's a lifestyle change.  I will be measuring my food and watching my portion control for the rest of my life.  I'm obese right now because I didn't do that as I grew into adulthood.  It's simple.  Eat healthy foods; use correct portions; and exercise.  Even my stick thin husband gains weight if he pigs out.  Some people feel like they are being punished for being fat and that they have to measure all the time now... it's just not true.  Eventually everyone will gain weight if they eat too much food.  I just gain easier than my husband because my activity level and metabolism is lower.  I don't move around nearly as much as he does so I can't afford to eat as much as him.

Anywhoodle... I rejoined Weight Watchers with a brand new account so I don't have to see my old data.  I have come to accept that I gained back that weight (and more) and I know I can do it again because I did it before!  This first week was hard.  I gained again and I was hungry... but this second week is going better.  I may gain again this week but it won't be as much and I'm not as hungry.  I can do this, again and again if I have to, but I can do it!

Oh and I am rewarding myself for the 50lbs I have lost already with something extra special this coming Saturday because it was hard work and I should celebrate!  I'll share that with you soon!
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